The Darkest Parts of Me
by darkangel9314
Summary: After Rachel's sister died, Rachel shut everyone out, but did she really? Who is this mysterious guy she's been talking to for comfort? And is he as innocent as he seems?
1. Chapter 1

The Darkest Parts of Me

Chapter 1

Rachel Berry entered her large two story home as she looked around. Of course her parents wouldn't be home. They almost never were. She exhaled and went up to her room. She had to admit the only good part about her parents working long hours was the vast amount of privacy she received plus the amazing house she lived in. Not to mention the expensive clothes that she always got to flaunt at school.

She finally made it to her room and signed into her account. Even though she couldn't enlist the help of her parents for communication she always liked that she did have a certain someone to talk to. She sent him a message and looked around her room waiting for him to respond. She kept looking around until her eyes landed on a picture of her and her little sister. Her little sister who she had a hand in killing. Everyone told her it was an accident, but no one could stop her from blaming herself. She remembered what happened as if it was yesterday.

Rachel laughed as her sister,, Chancey chased her through the forest and to the lake where her friends were. She had promised her parents that she would watch Chancey today. It was a nuisance, but she had said she would. Rachel smiled as she sat down beside her crush Finn Hudson.

"Hey Finn." she smiled tossing her hair over one shoulder.

"Hey Rach."

She giggled as her sister tugged on her sleeve. God, couldn't her sister tell she was busy?

"Rachel."

"What is it Clancey. I'm busy."

"Can I go swimming?"

"Sure knock yourself out."

Her sister ran to the lake and jumped in as she adverted her eyes and continued to talk with Finn who offered her a beer or two. Chancey was surprisingly quit during all of this. Espicially when Rachel and Finn went into the forest to bone for a little while. It had been Rachel's first time that day, but she was glad to lose it to Finn.

But once they headed back tragedy struck. Rachel screamed as she saw her sister laying face up in the lake just floating there. She detached herself from Finn and dove into the lake swimming towards her sister's body. She finally got to it and literally almost chocked on her own vomit at what she saw.

Her sister's skin was chalk white and her eyes looked lifeless. Her lips were a deep set blue as if she had lacked oxygen for a while. Rachel let out a chocked cry as she checked her sisters pulse. There wasn't one. Shit. What had she done?

She swam with her sister's body to the surface as Finn raced to them.

"Call 911."

He pulled out his cellphone as she began CPR on her sister. She knew deep down in her heart that it would be useless, but she had to try. She couldn't let her sister die because of one stupid mistake. Water slipped out of her sisters mouth, but she still wasn't responding.

When the ambulance got there. They tried, but it was too late. Her sister was already dead. According to the medical examiner she had died an hour before they got there. Cause of death was drowning.

Ever since then Rachel had never forgiven herself, but now instead of seeking comfort from her friends and family, she now seeked help from a chat room full of people who had lost someone. She sighed and signed in waiting for her boyfriend to sign on.

She had been talking to this one seventeen year old student for a while now, but she would never tell her mother that. She smirked when he responded and started to type away. She had to. She had to escape the pain.


	2. Chapter 2

The Darkest Part of Me

Chapter 2

There was nothing worse than going back to school after you were responsible for killing a person. Rachel thought her mother would spare her the pain of ever having to go through that, but unfortunately for her that wasn't the case when her mother woke her up that morning and told her that she would be going back to school today. This was so not fair, but she guessed she deserved whatever punishment she got.

She sighed and got dressed in an outfit that would make her blend in. She just hoped it would be a somewhat simple day. She went out of her room and grabbed some breakfast. Her mother was silent as usual. They hadn't really talked ever since her sister had died. She couldn't blame her mother though. She would hate herself too if she was in her mothers position.

After breakfast was finished, she gathered all her stuff together and decided she wanted to walk to the school. If she could be late so she didn't have to deal with that many people that would be awesome. She just hoped she wouldn't see Finn today. She couldn't bare to look at him after what happened with her sister. It wasn't his fault. He just reminded her too much of the day her sister died.

She stepped out on the porch and breathed in the crisp November air. She usually loved the fall, but this was one year that she didn't feel like enjoying it. She took the stairs one at a time and walked the direction she knew the school was in. She knew she wouldn't have trouble being late for class. She just wasn't looking forward to being the girl who killed her sister. No one wanted to hang out with that girl.

But unfortunetly life goes on, even if you didn't want it to. When she finally reached the school, she was terrified. This was going to be the worst day of her life. She already knew it.

She took the steps one at a time and finally emerged in the school. The voices stopped as everyone took her in. She tried to avoid the gazes, but some were too noticeable to ignore. She didn't know how it could get worse until people started throwing things at her and killing her baby killer. She tried to find a kind face in all the madness, but there was none. Not even when her gaze landed on Finn Hudson.

He tried to be there after her sister died, but she had just pushed him away. Now he was with Quinn and the look of utter disgust on her face was loud and clear as she took Finn's hand and guided him away from Rachel.

Rachel took a deep breath as she ran to the girls bathroom. She knew the terror wouldn;t stop there. She locked herself in a stall and cried as her tormentors continued to throw harsh words at her and the only thought that ran through her mind is that she deserved this. She deserved everything that was coming to her and she would not stop it. She would just let nature take its course.


	3. Chapter 3

The Darkest Parts of Me

Chapter 3

Rachel looked up at the ceiling as she contemplated how horrible her life had become. She had had friends and a life, but nothing had every been the same since her sister had died because of her negligent . Now she was paying the price and there was only one true person in the world that she could talk to. She had to talk to him it just wasn't an option anymore.

Sighing she threw off her covers and went to her laptop finding his screen name and smiling when she found out that he was logged on. She sent him a quick message and was satisfied when he sent a message of acknowledgment back.

They chatted a bit more before he had to sign off for the night. She smiled clicking it off and going back to her bed. He really did know how to make her feel better and she couldn't wait until the day she could finally meet him all she knew is that it would be a magical experience and she for one couldn't wait to be a part of it.


	4. Chapter 4

The Darkest Parts of Me

Chapter 4

Rachel stared up at her bare ceiling as she felt herself drifting off to sleep. It had been a good long while since she had gotten a decent night sleep and tonight was no exception. One moment she was in a quiet and peaceful state of mind and than the next minute she was plunged into a nightmare so terrifying that it shook her to her very core.

It had all stated innocent enough, one minute it was just her and Chancey happily playing in their back yard and the next Rachel was in the water. Where the hell had her sister gone? She looked around everywhere but she couldn't find her. Where has she gone? Than before she could adjust to this scene the environment changed before her and she was back in her room only chancey was beside her.

She screamed out in utter horror as she took her sister in. Her usual rosy complexion was now replaced by gray skin and deadpan eyes that held no life in them. Water spewed from her sisters mouth as if she were chocking on it as she passed out on the floor. Rachel screamed throwing herself to the floor and trying to help Chancey, but nothing she seemed to do ever helped. Finally her sister grabbed her arms and looked at her with her deadpan eyes.

"Why didn't you save me Rachel?" she said before she went slack.

Rachel screamed as she sat up in her bed someone grabbed her and she kept fighting them slapping them before she got up enough courage to finally punch them in the face. She succeeded and as she watched the figure falling to the floor she turned on her bedside lap to reveal her mother laying on her floor, her nose bleeding from where Rachel had punched her. She placed a hand over her mouth looking in horror. She hadn't meant to do that. Her mother had just startled her.

"Mom! Mom!" she yelled throwing herself to the floor and checking her mom to make sure she was okay.

She still had a pulse Rachel had just seemed to knock her out. Needless to say that when she woke up she wasn't too happy.

Rachel had escorted her to a chair and sat her down as she raced to her bedside table to get a few tissues to stop the bleeding.

"What the hell were you thinking Rachel?"

"I'm sorry I was just having a bad dream."

"That must have been some bad dream."

"It was."

"As is I don't know how much of this I can handle anymore Rachel."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Ever since Chancey died, you haven't been yourself. And I think we really need to get you help for that. I think we all need help for that."

"What do you suggest we do than?"

"I've already done it. Starting Monday we're going to Therapy and I don't need any if ands or buts about it young missy. We are getting through this no matter what we need to do."

"Understood Now get some sleep we have a long week ahead. "

Rachel sighed as her mother left and she slipped back into bed praying that she would not have anymore nightmares tonight.


End file.
